The Winged Wonder

[Kazooie does not like sappy things. She does not like mushy, gushy, dumb things like Valentine's Day. They are stupid and the only good part about them is the candy.

Why, then, is she having persistent thoughts of feeling... well... lonely?

( blah blah introspection )

... Anyway. There's only one way to fix this problem. And so Kazooie turns to the journals, as she usually does when she needs to complain.]

Hey, I'm offering all you awesome guys out there a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity - getting to live with a real hero like me.

See, I'm looking to move out of my apartment, and I need someone cool as a roommate! Like somebody who knows the real value of having a window you can Glide out of. Or a fellow hero who appreciates kicking butt and going on adventures!

[After a moment, she shifts gears, her tone noticeably changing.]

And what's with all this Valentine's day junk anyway? You people should just shut up and keep your stupid kissy flappy lip-things to yourself! It's gross seeing all of it!

None of that crud for me, nope. Only real adventure is awesome enough to be worth doing on a day like today, far as I'm concerned. Or a good party!

... At least the chocolate is pretty good.

[Though... there is Rainbow Dash...

... What is filtering? Kazooie's just going to announce this blatantly.]

Hey, uh, Dash... Whaddya say we do something cool today? Like... I dunno. Go on an adventure! Get away from all this mushy stuff.

[With that, she'll head out to the plaza as usual, to find her friends (unaffected or otherwise) and possibly get some food from the bakery for her awesome day trip with Rainbow Dash. Or whoever else.

She's completely convinced she's not affected, of course. Because why would somebody as cool as her ever have feelings like this?

... She's in for one rude awakening when this Shift is over.]

♋ CANCER ♋

• You will inadvertantly shoplift several times this week.
• You will find a turtle in your laundry.
• Your usually dominant manner is replaced by a coy submissiveness today. Go with it.
• Face facts, you have a dreadful singing voice.

[Kazooie doesn't usually pay much attention to her journal, outside of times where she wants to yammer on to someone or invite someone to go out with her. But anybody's curiosity would be piqued by a bunch of random words appearing, right?

Huh. Kazooie's never heard of this stuff before, but it sounds dumb and annoying and she doesn't like it. Especially not when the piece of crud is making fun of her voice! Her voice is just fine, thank you very much, stupid book!

Irritated, Kazooie goes to huff at the journal system.]

Is everybody's journal-thing being a jerk to them with these stupid words, or am I gonna hafta hit mine with a Grenade Egg?

[Evidently her coy submissiveness hasn't happened yet. Either that, or it doesn't apply to journals.]

These predictions are so dumb! "Submissive"? Me? Pah! I'd sooner stick my face in ol' Stinkpot again! [And she snorts audibly.]

... I bet none of them are gonna come true for me. I'm too awesome to do any of this!

[Spoke way, way too soon, Kazooie.]

What's the dumbest prediction you guys got? And did any of the really stupid junk come true for anybody else?

This has gotta be the lamest thing the Malnosso-guys've done yet!

[Even after she talks to others, though, Kazooie can't get over the journal insulting her. It's consuming her to the point where she's quite deliberately deciding that she's going to go out of her way to make sure that she'll undo every prediction. If she sees a turtle, she'll kick it out on its dumb shell! If she gets a chance to do something, it'll be as dominantly and loudly as possible! She's going to make darn sure she doesn't steal, and she will sing nicely like the bird she is!

... Too bad none of those will work in quite the way she envisions (as unfortunately for her, succeeding at failure is not really success... that was one of the alternate horoscopes she could've gotten, too).

( Horrible singing and stealing action on the 27th for those who want it! )

( And some coy submissiveness action on the 28th! )

Throughout all of this mess... well, chores still have to happen. Including laundry. Let's see what kind of interesting turtles she'll meet...

Actually, come to think of it, this entire event is going to prove to be pretty interesting. But that's Luceti - and Kazooie's life - for you!]