talontrot: PM me if you want this to come down! (just try to mess with me)
[Voice]

[This particular announcement begins with a close-up on one slightly-irritated looking breegull's face. The journal has gotten easier to open without hands, but it's still not always a cakewalk.

After a moment, though, her beak shifts into something resembling a smile - a little mocking, perhaps, but a smile nonetheless.]


So. Some heck of a birthday I have, right? Village looks like a pile of junk, Malnosso-guys going nuts, some dumb draft thing they didn't send me on, all this crud. And on top of all that, I still got my "present" from the Malnosso-guys to worry about. [She looks down at her wings pointedly to emphasize this.] So. Gotta cheer this place up a little, I think!

First 'n' foremost. It's my birthday today - s'when my first game came out, Banjo-Kazooie - so none of you had better forget! And I'm gonna need something really awesome. Maybe something even cooler than my hero party! As well as tons of presents, because a party's not a party without some presents -

[... but there is another problem, too.]

- whenever all this junk gets cleaned up, anyway. Is that even ever gonna happen? The fat ol' hag's cruddy amusement park looked better kept-up than this place and I was clearing out like half of the stupid stuff on the ground!

Anyway. [Almost idly, but:] How many of you other guys've had birthdays here? And what's it like for you weird non-cartoony-types, what with that getting-older thing and all?

[And because she can't filter:] Oh, hey, anybody know how to make some... I dunno, fake robot-y wings or something? [Eggman would be proud.] Marco said somethin' about "blacksmiths", whatever the heck that means.


[Action]

[Okay, so having a party now isn't really feasible. Some of the Pony House is missing, the whole village is still messy and broken (though it starts repairing later today!) and in general everything is a shambles. But this doesn't stop Kazooie from poking through the Item Shop and Weapons Shop for her Eggs and some decent snack food for her birthday.

People might catch her trying to awkwardly scoop chips - or crisps, as she'd call them; seed and nut mixes, candy and other assorted foods - perhaps even a whole cake - into a bag with the blunt hind-wings, or otherwise struggling with her items (but totally not asking for help or anything because that's lame) while she tries to navigate the shops. But eventually she'll get them outside! And maybe make a spectacle of herself eating them near or around the Fountain because she loves being the centre of attention. Come up and talk to her! She'll regale you with tales of her epic video game series.]
talontrot: (you mean i don't get a sequel?)
[Action | Early in the day]

[It was cloudy and overcast when Kazooie was dropped on her face in the dirt the day before. The weather had mirrored her mood, a cruel reminder of the darkness cloaking her the week before, right before the explosion of light, sound and pain had robbed everything from her senses.

She couldn't bring herself to go home. Instead, she wandered through the forest, avoiding everybody, hunkering down in the brush. Some stubborn, angry part of her didn't want to see anybody - didn't want to be reminded of that failure, that irreconcilable fact that she had failed utterly and entirely. She didn't want to go back and see the look in the eyes of her friends...

... Because the signs of her ruination were physical.

But she can't stay away forever. And this is why she walks home today, taking the quickest path to House 45 that she can from the pocket of forest she's been nesting in. She tries not to be seen - but who knows how successful that will be? She is still bright and colourful as ever, after all.

Anybody who gets close enough to her will be able to see the scars of her defeat - her wings have been mercilessly clipped, pinioned to the point she can't use them properly.

That's why, whenever she gets to the door of the house, she's forced to peck it, thudding her beak against it until she gets a response.

And then she waits for the inevitable.]


[Accidental Voice]

[Whenever she can, Kazooie will try to get away from the others long enough to get to her journal. She needs to be sure of what day it is - just to convince herself that what happened did in fact happen.

She has to struggle to get it open, wedging her toe and beak under it and then using her shortened wings to push the pages apart. In the process, she hits the recording button.

Sure enough, it's the fifteenth. A week and a few days. That's longer than she's ever been dead before...

The journal catches her sigh of resignation and the subsequent spoken words.]


... This is crud. How the heck am I gonna do anything now? This never happened when I died at home...!

I can't even Fly - whoever heard of a dumb bird who couldn't fly...?!

[Her voice almost breaks there, from anguish she wouldn't normally admit.]

Stupid Malnosso-guys. Stupid, stupid...!

[Stupid her.

... She doesn't notice the journal's on, and sounds like she could use some comforting. Any volunteers?]
talontrot: (seriously i WILL peck you)
CANCER

• You will inadvertantly shoplift several times this week.
• You will find a turtle in your laundry.
• Your usually dominant manner is replaced by a coy submissiveness today. Go with it.
• Face facts, you have a dreadful singing voice.

[Kazooie doesn't usually pay much attention to her journal, outside of times where she wants to yammer on to someone or invite someone to go out with her. But anybody's curiosity would be piqued by a bunch of random words appearing, right?

Huh. Kazooie's never heard of this stuff before, but it sounds dumb and annoying and she doesn't like it. Especially not when the piece of crud is making fun of her voice! Her voice is just fine, thank you very much, stupid book!

Irritated, Kazooie goes to huff at the journal system.]


Is everybody's journal-thing being a jerk to them with these stupid words, or am I gonna hafta hit mine with a Grenade Egg?

[Evidently her coy submissiveness hasn't happened yet. Either that, or it doesn't apply to journals.]

These predictions are so dumb! "Submissive"? Me? Pah! I'd sooner stick my face in ol' Stinkpot again! [And she snorts audibly.]

... I bet none of them are gonna come true for me. I'm too awesome to do any of this!

[Spoke way, way too soon, Kazooie.]

What's the dumbest prediction you guys got? And did any of the really stupid junk come true for anybody else?

This has gotta be the lamest thing the Malnosso-guys've done yet!

[Even after she talks to others, though, Kazooie can't get over the journal insulting her. It's consuming her to the point where she's quite deliberately deciding that she's going to go out of her way to make sure that she'll undo every prediction. If she sees a turtle, she'll kick it out on its dumb shell! If she gets a chance to do something, it'll be as dominantly and loudly as possible! She's going to make darn sure she doesn't steal, and she will sing nicely like the bird she is!

... Too bad none of those will work in quite the way she envisions (as unfortunately for her, succeeding at failure is not really success... that was one of the alternate horoscopes she could've gotten, too).


Horrible singing and stealing action on the 27th for those who want it! )

And some coy submissiveness action on the 28th! )

Throughout all of this mess... well, chores still have to happen. Including laundry. Let's see what kind of interesting turtles she'll meet...

Actually, come to think of it, this entire event is going to prove to be pretty interesting. But that's Luceti - and Kazooie's life - for you!]
talontrot: (this egg's going right up your ass)
[It's not every day that you wake up after a particularly good game of kick-the-disembodied-witch-skull-around to discover you are very much not at Spiral Mountain. Or... anywhere you even vaguely recognize. Even if you are a first-class adventuring hero.

Naturally, Kazooie was inclined to blame this on Banjo, because there was no way she'd be stupid enough to get totally lost in her sleep. But Banjo was nowhere to be seen, not even after a good look around with the Amaze-O-Gaze goggles. This was unusual, to say the least - unusual and unsettling. Even if Banjo wasn't exactly the sharpest crayon in the box, it was silly for him to just go off on his own. After all, who was gonna protect him? She was clearly the faster and stronger adventurer - he needed her! What did he think he was doing, going off without her?

But first, to inspect the area, like any real hero. Can't go looking for Banjo without discovering some obvious pathways! ... Which are suspiciously absent from this strange forest she's in. Huh.]


Hey... there's nothing here except a book! No nests of Eggs, Feathers, Notes or anything... What kind of place is this, exactly?! It's weirder than Cloud Cuckooland - at least that had music! [Kazooie scoffs loudly, scratching a claw irritably against the foreign dirt.] And boring... what a dumb place to go to have an adventure! Pah, like the bear would pick anywhere good...

[... Wait, didn't old Winky say something about getting Banjo and Kazooie back in Banjo-Threeie? So this was probably it, huh? (Man, that witch could put herself back together fast.) But Kazooie could live with that - maybe she got to be the main character this time! Or maybe it was like the time she got kidnapped for awhile - only it was Banjo's turn to get kidnapped by the hag, and meanwhile Kazooie could be a hero and kick her butt and rescue the furry lug! Either option was one Kazooie was satisfied with for the time being, even if this was a pretty lame sequel so far. And that meant the book was probably important.

Wait - it's got her name on it. It has to be important. So Kazooie picks it up in her beak carelessly and stuffs it under a wing - if it worked for Canary Mary, it'll work for her for a bit, right?

Then she points herself down the nearest tangle of trees and starts trotting through the forest - so much like Pine Grove on the Isle O' Hags, except... it just goes on forever.]


Man, where's a silo when you need one?

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Kazooie

June 2012

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